Sunday 10 November 2013

I've been thinking a lot about goals this past week and trying to work out exactly why I let go of mine so easy this year?

I think it all started  in Feb the finality of  when my plans to go overseas for a tummy tuck  fell through. I  lost sight of that end goal, my ultimate dream to achieve the body I wanted, that  I was aiming for with having the surgery after I'd lost the fat. Then a couple of weeks later my knee problems started just after I had committed to 6 months of pt and a plan which immediately was modified  and from there I let it all unravel within me.

How do you let go of a goal so easily? Am I lacking the strength to stay committed, do I lack some vital dna that gives you that drive to push through?

My current goal to smash the next 7 weeks  gain strength and lose fat joining the genfit group, do I feel confident in that goal now? NO and this is why.

I have not written this down  because I was trying to ignore it, for fear of what it will mean for beginning training this week.

 My knee has been bothering me since Thursday when I joined in the genfit session. When I came home and foam rolled, it sounded like I was walking over broken glass crunching and grinding each time I rolled over the outside. Since then I've had  pain where I assume the tear/ damage is, stiffness and my patella is  moving in and out with almost every step I take. Sitting causes pain more than anything and at the moment standing for more than a few minutes is painful, so once again it looks like things will not be going the way I planned.

 I thinking was  if I just rested, rolled and rubbed it with anti inflammatory gel it would be ok, but now I fear there is probably more to it than that.

And I've been unable to get my shoulder back in for almost a month now, it's hard not to wonder why this all has to happen now, why couldn't my body just hold together until I'd lost the fat :-)

It's going to be a good day I've decided no matter what happens!

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