Dream Believe Achieve

For my new f/b friends this  is part of my picture of life change  story so far. I joined Genesis Cranbourne in May 2011 ( thanks to Keith Perumal) , it changed my life. I started training with Sean Bishop aka Yoda in August 2011 and have continued to train with , annoy, ignore, fight with,  get angry at but mostly admire, feel inspired, encouraged, motivated and blessed to learn from him ever since. He is stubborn and determined and I may of taken a while to appreciate that he's stubborn because he cares, yet now today I can honestly say he has been the best money I've spent since I decided to change my life.


My blog is a snippet of  where I started , I have deleted a lot of it and re written parts and this isNOT the end.

The number on the scales is not the heaviest I got to but it  is what I was when I was  actually game enough to weigh myself,  fairly certain I was a good 15- 20 kg heavier when I had Ethan. So my body, joints etc have had a lot to hold up over the last 15/ 20 years. I have learnt this  number does not define who I am nor did it when I was at my largest. A number on a scale does  not define who I am as a person and it's taken me a long long time to accept this.

Why would anybody  share so openly, a body which is so far from where I want it to be? quite frankly embarrassing to look at? This is a body that I struggle to look at in the mirror every day,  not now nor has it EVER been a body  I am happy with. The gravity of that is huge,  I am 40 years old and for as long as I remember I have never once looked in a mirror and thought you know what, you are ok.

Now here it is for all of the people who choose to read it to read?

I am not ashamed of me as a person, I think I am a reasonably good person most of the time, yet the way I feel when I look at myself in a mirror , that makes me feel like the lowest of the low, I avoid it until it cannot be avoided. I feel ashamed of what I see, unable to see  any differences at times to when I began,  no matter how hard I try the negative ways I think of myself come shining through more often than not. I feel like I should of achieved my goals long before now, not stumbling to get to the point I want still.

 I realise I am not alone in feeling not good enough! I have some of the most gorgeous class mates who are all stressing about wearing bathers on the weekend for our water aerobics class. So this post is to empower them while  empowering  me, I don't care if it offends you because I have stretch marks and chubby bits.  This is for me, the journey I am travelling and I want to feel ok with  myself along the way so that no matter what I love who I am wherever  I end Up.

I am hoping it's some place with defined quads, delts, lats, bi's, tri and a flatter stomach!