It's been awhile since I posted anything so here are a few random thoughts about health, fitness and life.
Health is more than looking great with and without clothes! I achieved weight loss, I exercised to extreme but I was not healthy. Did I look better yes, did I feel better yes but my concern was not health my concern was looking acceptable to society so I could feel like I fit in and not stand out ( ironic for a person who has multi coloured hair, tattoo's and clothing that is anything but plain)
Now my focus is on just being able to keep mobile without being stuck in bed again, and no that was no exaggeration when I put my back out it goes into spasm I cannot move this time was the worst ever, pain killers did nothing anti inflammatory drugs did nothing all I could do was rest, ice and move as little as possible until the tension had released.
I honestly thought, last year when I was told I should not run it was an extreme response and not an actual statement meaning never ever. I mean surely once I built up my core strength and lost some excess visceral fat I would be able to run? NO! turns out I am not normal according to my osteopath, I am okay with this knowledge and after accepting I have " dodgy joints" with little to no outside cartilage support I will no longer attempt to run on a treadmill or concrete.
4 weeks later and I am still not quite back to normal, there are times when I just move a mm the wrong way and I feel a slight spasm in the joint area that has been affected. I am hoping to be able to return to some kind of training next week, for the past two weeks that keeps getting pushed back due to still being a little broken.
So back to focusing on what I can and that is food, this time of year can be crazy with social times and I don't want it to be like the other 40 and I end up hating who I see in the mirror. Each choice I make during this time will be intentional, is it going to bring healing and restoration to my tired aching body, is it going to make me feel joy indulging in something that is social and warm and full of love or is it just me being out of sync with my body and trying to fill a void and nothing else.
I've started reading a book recommended to me the other day by Russ Harris called The Happiness Trap life is not going to be a smooth sail, I am loving it so far.
EDITED My Yoda tattoo while it may appear that I have forever tattooed my pt onto my shoulder it's more than just having a constant reminder to not act like an idiot when exercising. Yoda on my shoulder is about remembering and embracing all that I have become since meeting him to be able to remember the life I have now that I am living not just existing day to day, that one human being has been influenced by his knowledge, not just in exercise and fitness but for how to live life. I wanted to keep that for myself.
