Two days in a row, it's been awhile since that has happened.

Yesterday's post had me feeling a bit annoyed about something I have no control over someone else, today I am a little less concerned with it. While I do not think it's a good idea to ever ask someone what their weight is, I know I have asked people at the end of a challenge who appear to of transformed a lot  how they did and maybe that is just as invasive, I will keep a check on that from now on to.

Had a follow up appointment with my osteopath yesterday, mainly  for my ongoing hip issues if I don't look after them I know I will have another back spasm issue.
 I had been experiencing some tenderness in my left wrist since Friday so thought I would get him to check it and just tell me it's in my head.  Turns out I am not I was not imagining it and I had actually done something to my left wrist while doing push ups on Friday morning at boot camp. So my exercise routine once again is a little disrupted as he felt I needed a few days recovery before trying to use my wrist again.

Food wise it's been hard to get enough protein into my diet without the use of a supplement, but I have found an amazingly yummy coconut and pea protein that I really like, some of the other ones taste like chalk.
While I am trying to only cook a vegan style diet, the full transition is slow and I find  there have been days when the option when I have been out socialising  is lacto veg or ovo veg  food and I do not want to make a big deal about my sudden change in diet so I  have eaten it without concern or guilt and this is probably the way I will continue so I guess I am a mostly a lacto/ ovo vegetegan :)

I like me, my choices and I am choosing to be happier on purpose

I hope your tuesday is amazing

Today's post will be hard to read for some and that's okay. I am not going to my an apology for my apology.

This morning at the gym I was asked a question  that has been asked a few times over the past almost 5  years I have been working out and trying to be the best physically that I can be.

 I was asked what weight I got down to when I was at my smallest size?
 I hate that question!   I hated it  3,5 years ago when I was at my leanest and I hate it now, mainly because when I say the numbers I feel like a failure as I was still not within my healthy weight range for height according to the bmi charts  and def now because the difference between then and now is very very hard to look at daily.

Right now  my journey as morphed from only being about the size of my ass/ weight  into being one about whole health and fitness and trying to remain focused on this is a daily battle. To try and focus on keeping myself functional and not injured and healing from the foundation up is not what the environment encourages. I do not want to stay this size but I also don't want to be on another merry go round ride to this same place in 3 years.

Remember everyone has a story and just because you can see one dimension of it does not mean you have the whole story. I am sorry to those I have looked at and commented about who are just trying to be the best they can be, I had no right to make a comment about ANY aspect of your journey and I apologize.

Week 4 of the 12 week challenge.

Oh hey blog readers, it's been a couple of weeks since I've posted. What has happened?

I've re commenced real active training which is making me super :) I have been a little non structured with it though. Setting my alarm and not actually getting out of bed some days. I have decided this needs to change, there is no point planning exercise and not actually doing it when it just makes me feel like I've wasted an opportunity to achieve my goals.

This week was the first week I actually managed a full week of training like I used to, the last time was probably 15 months ago, due to recurring back injuries all last year.

 Had some photo's taken yesterday for a before and after comparison, not my favorite thing to do!

Clearly and honestly , I hadn't noticed just  how far from my body shape/ size  goals my current physique was, so the photo session as confronting as it was,  it was a sharp reality slap that I hadn't really gotten a glimpse of in a while I try to avoid looking in the mirror when semi naked:).
After this I checked  my time hope app which  bought up a 3.5  year old photo, this of course was  when I was a much leaner version of the current me  and it was like bam!

I know I achieved that, I also know it was achieve through believe in myself and pushing beyond any limits I thought I had. I know I can do it again ( this time will be healthy and less traumatic for my body) Right now I need to  stop living in the negative and looking at the past,  this body of  mine has had to endure quite a bit of trauma these last  3.5 years with surgeries and back injuries and all the other toxic crap I have thrown at it.  I need to let it go and do what I can now to make it better not live in the could of been alternate reality.

Here's to a time frame of commitment and belief that I can make the change needed to achieve my goals one step at a time.

Have a great Sunday xo