This blog was started in 2012 as a way to support my fat loss/ weight loss journey, over that time it has helped me blog stuff that I find hard to get out to other people face to face. I have shared the good the bad the ugly my triumphs and my challenges.

I have not really been as transparent with my journey the past 18 month because I have not really accomplished anything physical, I lost 8kg last year but tbh it was such an unhealthy, quick fix I regained it all within a couple of months. I have since battled my mind more than my body and been stuck, until this year and I started gaining weight again and was quickly slipping back into habits of years gone by.

I am not going to make excuses for why I am still working on my life transformation, motivation  wise there is no reason why I have found it so hard to just do it, I should be able to just see the change in the clothes over the past 2.5 years but especially the last 18 months and want to change.

I made the choice a couple of months ago to educate myself with a nutritional program I have tried on and off to follow over the past 3 years but never 100% committed to seeing it through. I wanted to really understand the science behind it and why it is structured the way it is.
I learnt how my mindset has always been off, instead of approaching any 12 week, wanting to shred fat with no thought of what damage I am doing to my metabolism and body function long term. This plan is adjusting that incorrect way of looking at it, with the idea that firstly I am fixing the way my body functions internally followed by ensuring my body is in the right functioning to lose body fat long term.  I cannot expect to lose 30kg in 12 weeks and tbh it will probably take 12 - 18 months of focus, commitment and dedication. I have done it the wrong way and am back to where I was 3.5 years ago but I am looking at being somewhere completely different in 12- 18 months time.

So Monday my friends and I decided to begin a 12 week program, despite some internal struggles and insensitive comments I am more committed to this program than ever before. To the man in the gym this morning who gave me this compliment "I've seen you over the last four weeks and you've lost weight, I can really notice" To which I replied " Thank You" he then followed it up with " I would always look at you in the gym and wonder how you could be so large/ fat and a personal trainer, you've really changed a lot." I was shocked and kind of angry but as usual I just left without saying maybe next time think before adding the insult to the compliment because you have made me feel like crap.

I will be my own advertisement for the program I follow.

This week I had to get my care plan updated which allows me 5 visits to an allied health professional to have my back looked at. This involves having a visit with the nurse at my Dr clinic who weighs me takes me blood pressure and tries to convince me I should add a dietician into my care plan each year.

This year I am a bit heavier than last year and I knew they would recommend the dietician what I did not expect was for her to look at me and make the condescending remark of have you thought about trying to get a 20 minute walk in twice a week to try and incorporate some light planned exercise into your daily activity. I am sick of people asking questions like " When are you due?" and so I rather  replied explaining  I am a qualified pt and am in the gym exercising 3-4 times a week. Granted I was wearing a big bulk hoodie but I really didn't think I looked like someone who has no idea how to exercise.

I may not love all of  what I see in the mirror  at the moment but for the first time in ages, I am feeling okay with myself. I am working towards lowering my visceral fat and not getting caught up in the number on the scales being judged by a health professional who has no clue who I am makes me angry and I know that no matter what I do achieve unless I hit the bmi ratio they believe in I will get this same advice time and time again!

I watched That Sugar film yesterday WOW it was eye opening and I can see why my kids lunches may need an overhaul when a healthy person can gain 8.5kg in 60 days from eating heart approved " healthy" foods no junk or soft drink it makes me horrified for the future of children to come.

My back went out doing a dead ball slam yesterday and I kind of ignored it  by popping an anti inflamatory and pain killer so I could continue with the cardio workout I had just started( stupid decision)

Happy Fathers Day