I don't know if you saw it last week or not, there was a video of a police artist drawing portraits of people described from their own mouths and comparing them with pictures described by a stranger. The self described portraits were much more critical and unappealing to the ones described by others who had just met these people. It bought home the lesson I've heard taught over and over in the Art n Soul program we are quick to compare the worst we see in ourselves with the best in someone else.
Yesterday it was kind of like a real life reflection of this video for me, I mentioned how I got up and the scales were not being nice in yesterday's blog and I was feeling a bit blah with how I look at the moment, thinking about Christmas and how the last two years I've gained a bit of weight and the thought that it would compound the damage already done is making me stress a bit because there is less than 12 weeks until the big 40!
I was out and stopped into work and I bumped into someone I haven't seen since April. During the conversation she told me how amazing I am looking and asked how my gym is going, at first I thought amazing are you kidding me I've put on x amount of weight since I saw you but I did not voice that thought I just said thank you, not really taking on board the compliment because that's not what I see or feel in fact I feel less than average with what I see in the mirror at the moment. Then last night, I was boxing and a lady who I've known pretty much since I've joined the gym said the same thing to me, wow you look amazing, you looking really good. I was again shocked and thought surely she could see how much weight I've gained, but I thanked her again not really seeing what she was seeing and wondering how two people could possible say that.
After the class I was walking to the car and I said to my husband the weirdest thing happened today, twice I was told I look amazing, I think these two ladies need to come in and see Ryan for an eye test. He turned and said you do look amazing when are you going to realise that, in that moment I thought about that video and thought to myself I am just like those people. Maybe the lady in the gym could see the happiness on my face because I was in there to box, maybe I need to stop focusing so much on what I see in the mirror and start focusing on what makes me happy it clearly changes the way I am viewed...
It's funny how people say things and then their behaviour contradicts that statement, I believe someone influential said to me just a few weeks ago " I don't care what you do, it's your body" clearly that's not the case :-) thank you that you do care.
Genfit this morning and then work, then kids sport and trying to study in the car while watching Caleb train for the first time in 6 weeks...
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