There are never enough successive days pain/injury free that allow me to feel like I have been able to gain back some of the life I wasted living so long unhealthy and obese.
The damage my lifestyle caused to the only body I have is beyond redemption it feels like. Sure I am in a much better place, but the long term damage cannot be undone. Arthritis, joint stability worn out cartilage all happening before they should why? because I abused my body when not exercising eating well and when exercising I have still been abusing my body.
This week I managed to have my shoulder fall out of place, I know when it happens and it's not dislocated just slips out of it's socket and feel like it's pulling forward and that there is a tendon squished in there. So knowing most of the week it wasn't right, knowing on Thursday when dead lifting and doing t rows it wasn't sitting in properly, but continuing to train what do I do Friday but try to box. Again first push up and I know it's not right but don't stop for at least another 15 mins when I simply cannot lift it anymore without pain shooting down my bicep. I wan't ignoring the pain, just wasn't sure was it my brain giving up or should I keep going? I am a bit of a sook and not sure if my pain tolerance holds me back sometimes.
Resting for two days will hopefully fix it up for next week, I am motivated to do amazing things over the next 17 weeks until my 40th birthday.
My pt likes to sit down and map out with a distinct plan what my goals are? It always makes me feel like the principal is calling me to his office ( a bit like a coffee date with Michelle Sanders :-) ) anyway trying to avoid it I sent him a note with my goals written down which really have not altered since I sat down with him 12 months. His response was that he remembered them, where had they been? I responded with sarcasm but it was partly true, hidden under the chocolate and ice cream and every other food I chose to consume that did not align with my goals, there has been many choices over the last few months/ year that show my commitment to my goal was not top of my list of things to achieve.
This week has been a one step, one day at a time and it's been a good week for the most part. I hope it remains over the weekend and I can begin to see my body transform the way it needs to, to reach my goal by 23/2
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