My personal Journey The photo reflects a bit of where I started and where I've been but not currently where I am at in terms of healthy life style etc.
I lived most of my life as an overweight/ obese as a child I was born 5 weeks prem at 5 pounds 3 ounces by the time I was adopted at 13 weeks of age I was over 13 pounds food was always the comfort I sough out and still can bring an emotional high like nothing else.
I have been called things like Kelly Jelly belly I always had a protruding belly, never have I looked down and seen a flat lower abdomen I mean never ever, I remember being called Fat Kelly from the start of year 7 from school class mates and the memories of the taunting of my parents friends stayed with me.
Always as a child/ teenager I was told I was big boned, never going to be slim, lean etc. If While the words may of meant nothing but trying to be encouraging to the people saying them, they have been foundational in laying the path of negative self talk that takes over in my head. The belief and fear that I will never be those things. I know I have worked at changing those words and the way I feel about myself but sometimes the continual pattern of being stuck makes it seem like the reality of the words is the reality I am destined to live.
Last week was the 3 year anniversary of my first pt session, I took 6 months off using a pt from November last year, but I was still doing small group training with the same trainer and so have still felt connected to the guidance of the pt who has helped to change some of the negative into positive. We are about to undertake a new challenge at the gym and I am really excited to be a part of this I just wanted to voice how I was feeling going into the challenge.
I am committed to doing the challenge and changing my habits from negative into positive, do I see this as the change that will lead me to the path of successful change. Nope I am fearful this will be just another failure in a long line of them. How can I change this, the only thing that will change this is my thoughts I know that now more than ever. I need to accept there is not perfect situation that makes it all come together. I just have to make the choice to be the person I need to in order to succeed, there is no easy way to achieve what I want.
Starting today I am committing to seeing the process through, not just the physical process of doing the appropriate amount of training and having the nutrition that supports it all, I am talking more about believing it is possible, that no matter what has come before it does not define what will happen now. Changing the way I view myself and my possible success into a actual reality of the success I know is possible is the only way for me to succeed.
September 1
No comments:
Post a Comment