Life is very different to how I pictured it would be when I first committed to losing weight and training to achieve a goal size/ body shape , so much more than I ever expected it to be studying to be a pt/ work within the fitness industry certainly not something I would have ever envisioned I would participate in and love!
Okay my accountability my post from last night, I sound like a fucking ( sorry) whining princess. Seriously I was so absorbed in myself I didn't stop to see anything positive in the day and that shit house attitude followed me into today, so when things started falling apart I will ill prepared to deal with them, this lead to the old which lead me to seek comfort in giant popping candy freddo'(s) yes there were two.
I know it my head this is not food, this item should not be included as a food item in my fitness pal it did not nourish or feed me it enabled me to fed my addiction to sugar and my desire to not deal with my emotions and simply push them aside by eating them. A most childish destructive pattern of behaviour.
This came about because to be honest I am feeling a little overwhelmed with life at the moment. I am just managing to keep my head above water and I feel like I am letting my friends, family, house cleaning, schooling, work, business, training, eating go to shit quicker than I want.
Enough of feeling bloated and sorry for myself, I decided to be proactive this afternoon and while I wanted to get out how I was feeling. It's not how I am currently feeling.
I visited GSO to get some more kombucha, a apple cider vinegar drink, green juice and a shot of chlorophyll upside I feel better within my body and my mind feels more at peace because I am not buzzing from sugar or caffeine. I managed a whole day with no double shot long black, macchiatos or soy piccolo lattes that is a miracle in itself.
Tomorrow will be better and I will be focused on my attempt to JFFA like I intended~
Food prep done for tomorrow already and no excuses!
Upper body training done tonight with no coffee or pre workout that was a first for awhile.
Hope your Monday has been marvellous.
much love
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